So much to say

I conducted a funeral recently for a very popular gentleman. The funeral was extended to one hour to ensure that all contributors were able to speak and all of the six pieces of music could be played, and the four poems read. Even after extending the time, there was not sufficient time to ensure that all of the wonderful ways of remembering this man - the things that were so important to him and his family were accommodated. Family members and friends all wanted to say something.

The above example is not uncommon. My role as celebrant is to ensure that the celebration of the life that has passed is as full and fitting as possible in accordance with the wishes of the family. Often the family member will say that they want to 'do their relative justice' and therefore they need to speak for ten minutes, the friend may feel the same. With time constraints (a typical ceremony will be around 30 minutes in total) it is also, sadly, my job to ensure that the ceremony does not run over time and therefore cause a delay to the next funeral. As well as ensuring overall time constraints are adhered to, I will also advise the family that there are many further opportunities to pay tribute to their loved ones: tributes can be read t the wake following the service perhaps, the family could also collate a book of memories to be shared or posted online.

It is also the case that less can be more and I can help the family in ensuring that a concise speech does not mean an inadequate one. Often details of workplace dates and holidays overseas etc can be taken out. What was the essence of the person who has passed? How can the person providing the tribute get across the main attributes that were unique to them?

With careful attention and assistance working with the family, it is always possible within the time allowed to really 'do justice' to the person who has passed.